|
| *sigh* oh planning..I'm not that fond of planning things. Mostly due to the high probability of things not going the way I expected it to. Which is why I guess I've been just meandering my way through a general direction, without really striving to accomplish one specific goal.
I shouldn't do that anymore.
Because I haven't decided what other major I can tackle on, I will finish my Psych Major (4 more classes after my Fall '09 semester), and I will go for an IT Minor (5 or 6 classes) in addition to getting an Asian Studies Certificate (4 classes).
Considering that I'd only need 12 or 13 classes to complete these, I can just take it easy the next four semesters. The Asian-ness in me, of course, opposes that; I should take as much classes while I can.
*sigh*
how about something for the summer, first?
I think I'll just take on an easy job to make some cash during the day.
I want time for myself over break; I have a story to write, Korean to learn, guitar to practice, songs to sing, books and novels to read. I have family I shouldn't part ways from, and friends that I want to make merry memories with.
take it easy, b r e a t h e .
yes, no stress, no stress.
...
okay, just a lil slip of wanting to strangle Spraggo. I'll deal with it. *curses* | | |
| A walk back.Seriously though, the walk up the hill to Sylvan is a good distance when you need some time to pace yourself. I think I'll still walk that way even when I don't live there anymore.
This semester has been my rockiest roller coaster ride yet. It's like I emerged from an apathetic slumber, and into a heart-clenching, mind-engulfing wave of an electric charge. Not just some transition from high school into college, but a pivotal lesson of change. I'm still feel the anesthesia left in me, but I know for sure I do feel now.
What is it that I have learned?
I suppose the first thing I'd want to share is that SLEEP IS IMPORTANT.
Trust me, I know what it's like to run on lack of sleep, and it's not pretty when you need to use brain power. It may sound stupid, but now I know that getting sleep is more important than finishing busy work and reading assigned chapters. Seriously, there are better ways to do things when you're not cognitively impaired.
That being said, I've come to realize something much more meaningful this semester. Whether you know or not, I have been seriously struggling with making meaning of life. I'm not suicidal—though you may want to watch out when I'm too overly emotional. I could never bring myself to waste this chance at life. I know that I have so many opportunities, so much to live for, that I should do something with this upper-hand –or "high position" as my best friend called it. Yet, I have been stuck in circles trying to find a reason to make life on this earth worthwhile. I couldn't.
This world is missing something. Can there be any other explanation for such human atrocities? This endless cycle of massacre, of greed, of pride?
I don't understand, and I've realize now that I may never understand exactly why people continue to act the way they do—even when they know what they do is wrong. I suppose that is my pride, broken.
I really appreciate what I have; all the friends that I have made, all the experiences I have gone through, and the knowledge and personality I have developed as a result of my past. I have a lot to be thankful for, and I can only hope that I will really shine, and show this world the beauty of life.
| | |
| Oh, vanity.
Strands of my hair, strewn across a cafe floor.
They lie in criss-crossed patterns, paired up like chromosomes.
Though it's gross – a violation of health safety – I can't help it:
This is what stress is. At this stage I sleep because my body is too tired to stay awake when my mind jolts back to reality at night. The lids of my eyes are too reluctant to rise for a smile. My lips are only too happy to stay in their normal state of pout. My ears give my head aches because songs start to annoy me.
Irritability. Callousness. Wait.
Capability. Capriciousness. Wonder.
I will leave this to You. There's nothing else I can turn to; I am but a speck, helpless in how this world runs. No matter how much I may cry, no matter how much my heart aches, no matter how much of my thoughts are consumed by these problems, I have not been able to do a thing to help.
So please, fill me with Your presence and show me how to live.
to love.
to breathe.
Sincerely,
- withdrawn, but okay.
| | |
| iTunes: April 27, 2009.
lol. "Number 1" is number one.. hahahah gg BB!
| Rank | Song Title | Song Artist | Play Count | | 1. | Number 1 | Big Bang | 84 | | 2. | Crazy Dog | Big Bang | 77 | | 3. | Girl Rock | Epik High | 76 | | 4. | Sorting Tickets | Epik High | 75 | | 5. | undecided | Dir en grey | 71 | | 6. | Binetsu shita de shajitsu shita shinsou
wa atesaki fumei no tegami to naru | RENTRER EN SOI | 68 | | 7. | Merciless Cult | Dir en grey | 67 | | 8. | Sunset Glow | Big Bang | 66 | | 9. | 高手過招 | Sherman Chung | 66 | | 10. | 평화의 날 | Epik High | 65 | | 11. | Fly REMIX (Hidden Track) | Epik High | 65 | | 12. | Time Is Running OUt | MUSE | 64 | | 13. | The Future | Epik High | 62 | | 14. | Kaleidoscope | D'espairsRay | 60 | | 15. | 晴天 | Jay Chou | 60 | | 16. | 오, 아, 오 | Big Bang | 59 | | 17. | Fallin' | Epik High | 59 | | 18. | EVERGLOW | FAKE? | 55 | | 19. | PIG | D'espairsRay | 54 | | 20. | Umbrella | Epik High | 54 | | 21. | ANTIDOTE | FAKE? | 53 | | 22. | Forbidden | D'espairsRay | 52 | | 23. | Into | xTRiPx | 23 | | 24. | One | Epik High | 50 | | 25. | Kyomu No Owari Hakozume No Mokushi | the GazettE | 50 |
| | |
|
